Nine Little Words


“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it” (Eph. 5:25). Jesus laid down His Life for His Bride, the Church. The greatest example of love is a person laying their life down for another. “My children, our love should not be just words and talk: it must be true love, which shows itself in action” (1 Jn.3: 18). Marriage is sacrificial love. It is the action of laying one’s selfishness down for their beloved spouse. Faithful marriage is the heroic call of love in which the husband and wife consider his/her spouse before him/herself. Thinking and caring for the beloved before self is not easy. However, when a couple begins to live this way, they fall more deeply in love no matter how long they have been married. Both husband and wife are then always thinking, “How can I serve my spouse better? What would my spouse want or need when he or she comes home? How can I help my beloved?” Giving to your spouse is not a form of weakness. Rather, it is following the example of Christ. These nine little words can change your marriage. “What do you need and how can I help”?


Are You a Model?


Are you an appropriate model of marriage to your children? Do your children look at your happy, loving marriage and dream of having the same kind of marriage as yours? Do you show your love for your spouse by wanting to be together, serving each other with love, touching them with tenderness, paying attention when they speak, never speaking unkindly to them or about them and praying for them? Or do your children hear you yelling, using angry words, saying unkind things to them and about them, showing frustration and irritation with much of what they say and do?

God designed married love to be joyful and peaceful so that spouses can learn to love as God loves. If your marriage has fallen short of this design, fix it today. The evil one wants to destroy all faith, peace, joy and love. If things aren’t right in your marriage, he will work very hard to present thoughts of discouragement in order to break it. If you feel like giving up, don’t! You and your spouse are listening to the wrong voice! Replace the angry words and arguing with words of encouragement and appreciation. “Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up” (1Thes 5:11).


The Nightly Goal


Jesus, who is God, came “to serve not to be served” (Mt 20:28). In a sacramental marriage, we are to serve our spouse and family with a happy rather than a resentful heart. Because the home and children belong to both spouses, the responsibilities of running the home and caring for the needs of the children belong to both spouses. Regardless of whether both spouses work outside the home or only one, both need to address the evening tasks together with a happy heart. Develop and cultivate the idea of joyfully serving your precious spouse and family. Instead of sitting and relaxing while your beloved makes dinner, does dishes, helps with homework, finishes the laundry and gets ready for the business of the next day, pitch in and assist. When chores and responsibilities fall primarily on one spouse, couples can easily feel used, grow apart and become resentful. But, when couples work together lovingly, kindly and respectfully, marriage and family bonds are strengthened.


Fake Feelings


Our feelings change constantly; yet, we allow them to control our lives. Knowledge of the truth concerning right and wrong, rather than unreliable feelings is to be the basis of decision-making. Feelings are real but may not be accurate or true. Real and true are not the same when it comes to feelings. Judas felt Jesus could not forgive him; the feeling, while real, was not true.